G'Day Mate

Aug 14, 2014
Originally published on May 7, 2015 1:29 pm

We're heading to the land down under in this game. Put on your best Australian accent to deliver the answers, all of which end in "mate."

Heard in Episode 324: His Dark Material

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Transcript

OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

From NPR and WNYC live from The Bell House in Brooklyn, New York, this is ASK ME ANOTHER. I'm Ophira Eisenberg, your host for this next hour of puzzles, word games and trivia. And you are going to love this week's very important puzzler making his public radio debut. He is known as the dark prince of comedy, our VIP is Anthony Jeselnik.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: And now to kick things off, please say hello to someone else who knows no bounds - our one-man house band - Mr. Jonathan Coulton.

JONATHAN COULTON: Hello everybody.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Let's say good-day to our first two contestants. That's right, that's a little hint. Please welcome Laura Killeen and Lindsay Stevens.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: This game is called "Good-day Mate." Have you been to Australia, Lindsay?

LINDSAY STEVENS: No, never.

EISENBERG: How about you, Laura?

LAURA KILLEEN: I haven't. But everyone thinks that I'm from there.

EISENBERG: Oh, yeah, with that wacky accent.

KILLEEN: Yeah, I would say 99 percent of Americans know that I'm Australian, but I'm not.

EISENBERG: They're positive and they tell you you are Australian.

KILLEEN: I've never been there.

EISENBERG: OK, and where are you from?

KILLEEN: I'm from London.

EISENBERG: Yeah, that's what they all say by the way.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Lindsay, your hobby is playing the church organ?

STEVENS: I do.

EISENBERG: So how do you get into that?

STEVENS: At church.

EISENBERG: Oh, yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: It's just a natural progression?

STEVENS: I thought it'd be a good summer job. Pays more than minimum wage. So that's perfect.

EISENBERG: You're like, I want to sit up there.

STEVENS: Maybe be like a crazy mastermind kind of image.

EISENBERG: Oh, I see. Yeah, that's a little - you got the whole God thing going.

STEVENS: Yes, exactly.

EISENBERG: Got it, OK. So in this first game, we're going to channel your inner Australian.

COULTON: That's right. And in this game, every correct answer will be a word that ends in mate. And yes, you will answer in your best Australian accent.

STEVENS: That's not even fair.

COULTON: Except for you, Laura. That will be easy because you are from Australia.

KILLEEN: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

KILLEEN: I got this.

STEVENS: Well played.

COULTON: Puzzle guru John Chaneski, how about an example of how this game works?

JOHN CHANESKI: For example, if I said I'm renting a huge apartment or flat, do you need a place to stay? Move on in, there's plenty of - you would complete that sentence by saying roommate.

KILLEEN: Oh.

EISENBERG: Yeah.

STEVENS: Or flatmate, yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

KILLEEN: OK.

EISENBERG: OK, and the winner of this game is going to move on to our final round at the end of the show. So here we go. All right, you beat me at chess again. I don't have any cash to pay or bet though, I'll just have to give you a...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Lindsay.

STEVENS: Checkmate.

EISENBERG: Yeah.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Can you imagine how excruciating a chess gambling problem would be? Just long and terrible.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: Hey there. What are you locked up for, armed robbery, grand theft auto? No problem. There's an open bed right here behind these bars. Come on...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Laura.

KILLEEN: Cellmate.

CHANESKI: We'll take it. Cellmate, yeah.

COULTON: We'll take it. Cellmate or inmate would be fine.

KILLEEN: Oh, that too.

EISENBERG: Yeah, all of them. It works though, it was totally good.

COULTON: Just say any words, and we'll probably say that's fine.

KILLEEN: OK.

CHANESKI: We're easy.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Sorry bloke - how did I do with that, Laura?

KILLEEN: Awesome.

EISENBERG: Yeah. I was pretty good, right? Sorry bloke, I ran out of organic soy milk yesterday morning. Maybe you can flavor your decaf with this stuff. I know it's really sugary and all, but hey, it's just...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Laura. Oh, so your tactic is just to ring in...

KILLEEN: Milk-mate.

EISENBERG: Milk-mate. That is incorrect.

CHANESKI: No, not milk-mate.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Lindsay.

STEVENS: Coffee-mate.

EISENBERG: Coffee-mate is correct.

(APPLAUSE)

CHANESKI: Laura's like, I don't know what that is.

KILLEEN: Yeah, thank you.

EISENBERG: Is that a cultural difference?

KILLEEN: We don't have that.

EISENBERG: Yeah.

KILLEEN: But that's OK. I'm here, that's OK.

STEVENS: They have it at every church function. So...

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: Darling, I could never find a more perfect person than you. You're my dream, my every desire. You've captured my...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

KILLEEN: Soul mate.

CHANESKI: That's right.

COULTON: That's correct.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: That gorilla is quite the math whiz. Look at all those numbers he's writing - two, three, five, seven, eleven, thirteen, seventeen - gosh, they're all...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Laura.

KILLEEN: Primates.

EISENBERG: Yes, exactly.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: I wish you had gone on longer with those numbers.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: Just because I've posed naked in a men's magazine, that doesn't mean I'm dumb. I know lots of things, like the movie "A Streetcar Named Desire" was originally a...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Laura.

KILLEEN: Playmate.

COULTON: That's correct.

EISENBERG: Yeah.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Now which men's magazine would you be posing in, Jonathan Coulton?

COULTON: Maxim. I would do Maxim.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: John Chaneski, puzzle guru - how did our contestants do?

CHANESKI: Our Aussie ace today is Laura. Congratulations, Laura.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Nice job, Laura. We will see you at our Ask Me One More final round.

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.